The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia. Which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind.
– Anna Lembke
Do you get bored of yourself? Are you good company for yourself?
No connection
I have lately had ”so much fun” as I lived in an apartment where I didn’t have an internet connection for two weeks and couldn’t really use my mobile data either. Basically, I was either forced to hang out in places like Starbucks or be shut off from the wider world, just like back in the days.
And wow, I really did realize how connected I am most days, and how much I entertain myself with things that require the internet.
Without the internet, I technically just had two options to fill my free time at home: read or write, meaning that you need to think with your own brain without any support or references from the outside world (pretty much a shocker nowadays, no?). Definitely no ChatGPT or Google to help with the small curiosities and problems that pop up during the day at home.
The Dopamine Nation – book: Chasing the Dopamine Highs
A book that taps exactly into this modern issue is “Dopamine Nation” by Anna Lembke. Simply put, the problem of our times is that we’re constantly chasing those “nice things” that make us feel good and stimulate the brain’s reward system.
Think about scrolling on social media, watching Netflix, having another coffee, or “needing” that little sweet after dinner.
All these things, and many others, make you feel good for a moment, but as unpleasant as it sounds, you do not need them. You just need to learn to live without them (ofc if you want, that’s the whole point here.)
The problem is that those activities that make us feel good are the activities to which we, consciously or unconsciously, come back, and breaking free from that loop of habits will make us feel worse off.
And it is exactly this little fact that that big tech and social media platforms all know so well. Their entire business models are built on your weakness to resist those micro-moments of dopamine you get from online entertainment, shopping, texting, you name it.
And of course, you kind of need to be connected today to work and live, but it is not necessary to be connected all the time and we know it. It’s just the little thing we prefer to ignore at our own cost.
I recommend reading the book if you want to understand better how to be more aware of the whole thing and be more self-regulating, so to say. It’s definitely a kind of an eye-opener to reflect your behaviour on this.
The takeaway from being disconnected
I must admit, I felt very lost with all the time I suddenly had at home as I was not able to answer messages, calls, check things on the internet, or keep learning via online courses.
But, and there is definitely a but, at the same time, I had so much more creativity and focus. As cliché as this may sound, I was so much more in the present, not feeling a rush or the need to complete all the tasks and ongoing projects on my laptop. I could just sip my tea while planning my next steps and reflecting on my ideas. Felt good.
And maybe the best thing I realized, which definitely contributed to that increased focus, was that I did not multitask. Without constant notifications and distractions, it was much easier to focus on the task at hand that I decided to do at the time.
And most surprisingly, it felt so liberating when I didn’t have a million different channels and people demanding my attention, and I didn’t need to respond to anyone. Worth the try.
